Good vs Evil, in which evil might win.

  This has been an unfortunately eventful week. Especially for Max. First off, Connor swung a tension rod at Max and scratched his cornea pretty badly. Poor kid couldn't keep his eye open for more than a few seconds at a time. But by bedtime he was feeling alright and the next day was back to normal.

  Yesterday Connor got hold of the weed killer in our garage and sprayed Max... in the eyes.

   Hmm. I'm sensing a theme here.

  I think I'll strap safety glasses onto Max's head and tell him it's what Power Rangers wear to ensure they stay put. Or maybe a full-face helmet.

  Anyway, I rinsed his eyes as well as I could while he squirmed and fought to get away from the water, which is obviously MORE POISONOUS THAN WEED KILLER MOM!!!! He had red splotches from his eyes down to his cheeks before bed, but he could see just fine and his eyes weren't bothering him at all. And once again, thankfully, he's back to normal today.

   A few nights ago, the kids were in bed, the house was quiet, and I was settling into my bed with my laptop to update this here blog. I got my mug of steaming peppermint tea and poured it onto my stomach. Oh yeah, and onto my laptop. I guess I just felt like burning and screaming and killing an expensive piece of technology. I killed it dead. Fortunately, the hard drive is fine. My dear husband (Who completely ignored my cries of agony) just needs to transfer all my pictures and whatnots from it to his. And I'm not allowed to drink anything near a computer again.

   Thursday afternoon I got stung by a wasp at work. I was in drive-thru that day. I've never been stung by a bee before so didn't know how my body was going to respond. But nothing happened! Until 6 hours later when I got hit with dizziness and couldn't even stand up. My parents picked me up from work, practically carried me to the van, drove me home, and Rob helped me get to bed without throwing up. And then the next afternoon I was back to normal. Thank goodness all these awful things haven't lasted long.

   In the mean time we did crafty things...

 

 

And we bought tents. Connor wanted to sleep in his that night. After he fell asleep this is what I found:

 

 

And Maggie got a tent.

 

 

And we spent 10 minutes at the park before Max was walking around with butt cheeks clenched hollering "I NEED TO GO POOOOOPPPPYYYYYYY!"

 

 

And we started a new tradition with the boys snuggling up to me before bed telling me wild and imaginative bedtime stories. It helps me to forgive them for being insubordinate and crazy during the days. It makes me like them just a little bit again.

 

 

Just a little.

 

I'd say the week was balanced out pretty well. Nobody died. That's a plus.

 

She gets it from her mother.

    The cuteness, I mean. The perfection.

 

I'm pretty sure she's the most adorable girl in the world.

 

 

 

Can I just say they're outgoing?

   We really do discipline our kids. I promise I'm not one of those moms who lets her kids run wild at all times and ignores every terrible thing they do.
  
   But people might think I am, based solely on their spasmodic slightly hyper activity and completely idiotic behavior.
  
   This weekend was the very first time I've ever spent apart from my boys.

   It was wonderful.
  
   They went to the farm with my parents early Friday morning, while Rob, Maggie and I spent a night in St George to visit my Gawda and my friend Bobbi. Thursday night I ordered pizza, since I'd been packing and cleaning all day and didn't want to cook. Before the delivery man showed up, I ran down to the laundry room in our basement to throw the clothes into the dryer. When I got back up the stairs, the delivery man had already shown up. I hadn't heard the doorbell.
  
   I really wish I had.

   When I reached the top of the stairs I saw the door wide open and Maggie standing in front of it with wide eyes, looking up at a stranger holding a pizza. Max was out on the front porch in his underwear of course trying to chit chat with him. CONNOR was climbing around in the man's beat up old VW bug.

   I couldn't believe it. Seriously. There have been two conversations that have been on repeat in this house for the past few weeks. One: DO NOT OPEN THE FRONT DOOR EVER EVER NEVER EVER FOR ANY REASON OR ANY PERSON.
 
  And two: STOP TALKING TO STRANGERS. STRANGER DANGER. STRANGERS ARE NOT OUR FRIENDS!!

  Number two came around after the 5,000,000th time Max tried to (and was usually successful) strike up a conversation with a random stranger in the aisle of a store. Seriously, the kid is never quiet. Ever. I literally have to tell him to close his mouth when I'm feeling the need to shave off my ears. And that only results in long drawn-out whimpering.

   Anyway. I apologized over and over again to the delivery man. I left him a profusely large tip. And then I waited until I was sure he and his VW were out of earshot before LOSINGMYMIND!!! I couldn't even deal with the what-ifs. I sent the boys to their room to cry it out before I called Rob to tell him what happened and that he was going to have to dole out some serious punishment when he got home, and then I told the boys that Daddy was going to spank them which made them cry even more, and then Daddy did spank them and had a very long talk again about strangers and the front door, and I hid under my covers in my bed.

   The next morning Max peed on a very nice suede accent pillow in his room before anyone was awake.
  
    Retaliation maybe?

  The kicker is this - While they were with my parents at the farm, they were perfect angels. They obeyed. They never complained. They didn't fight bedtime. They only peed and pooped in the toilet. They ate all their food. They didn't beat each other up.

   I asked mom if she'd be our nanny while I worked full-time instead.
  
   She hasn't really responded yet, so I'm sure she's thinking about it.

  

Rolling my eyes just a little.

    I had the radio on in the kitchen this morning while I was getting supper into the crockpot. (It was a productive day!)
    In case I'd been trying to forget that I live in the Land of Mormons (which I was), a commercial decided to remind me.
    I don't remember what the ad was for, but a man literally said this - "We'd turn your water to Diet Cola just to prove how happy we are to serve you!"
   
    Well if he'd said he'd pour water over ground coffee and serve it hot, he'd have gotten my business for sure! But I might have been his only customer...