Sums it up...

   This picture pretty much sums it up. Every time I turn my back these animals do something. This time I looked over my shoulder to see Maggie probably finding every virus to download onto the computer, and Max tearing apart the lid to the laundry basket.

 

Selfies

   I'm sure I've mentioned before that the kids get a hold of my camera now and then. I love going through the photos and either laughing at some, or being amazed at their point of view.

   This time I found these.

                  "This is going to be a good one. I can tell."

                 "UGH, I look so lame!"

              "Maybe I should get closer."

                   "Closer....."

                "That's the stuff."

             "YES! I did it! Got a great selfie!"

              "Wait, better be a little more professional. Tone down the crazy."

              "Here I am, completely impressed with my skillz."

                        

 

Mountain Monday

 Technically Tuesday. But I took it on Monday, if that makes a difference.

    This is what happens in the Salt Lake Valley during the winter. It's called Inversion, where all the smog settles down in the bottom of valley. Last year there were a few days when the air quality in Salt Lake was worse than in Beijing, China. This has spurred many "Let's Move Away" conversations.

 

This is a semi-visible day. Sometimes I can't even see the mountains.

 

Yuck.

 

Honesty stinks.

 

I happen to be a terrible singer. I know this about myself. Deep down within, I know I'll never measure up to Adele.

But it still kind of hurts when others show such obvious disapproval. ... Kids and their truth-telling ways.

 

Thanksgiving

  Nothing crazy has happened!! Nothing terrible, or detrimental to our bodies/minds/health! I am pinching myself right now.

   Well, except Connor has the flu and threw up 4 times yesterday... but he seems fine today!

Our Thanksgiving was small. But it was good. It was my 30th birthday Thursday too! I worked, unfortunately. The store closed at 3, and it took us an hour to clean it up and set it up for the next morning. I had Wednesday off, so I spent that day making Thanksgiving dinner and pies. I put the turkey in before work Thursday to slow cook all day, and left instructions for Rob to throw the prepared side dishes in the oven a couple hrs before I got home.

  We didn't plan on celebrating my birthday that day, since there was enough going on as it was. But when I got home there was a party hat hanging on the door for me, with a 'Birthday Girl' pin. So I popped them on and when I opened the door the kids started screaming Happy Birthday Mommy at me so loudly I almost went deaf! The kitchen was decorated with streamers and balloons and a heart shaped chocolate cake. The kids were so excited!

   I, however, tried to hold back tears when we lit all 30 candles and turned off the lights and it was still bright as day in the house.

   That was a slightly depressing moment.

 But Thanksgiving dinner was delicious, and so were the pies and cake! We all snuggled together and watched Turbo after we ate, and then it was bedtime.

  Now I have to go to work in a few hours and I'm sincerely hoping it's not another crazy day. I'm hoping people spent all their money yesterday and don't want to come out today too. I'm tired. And I'm very thankful I'm not scheduled to work tomorrow!!

Busy

   I'm going to take a break here in a minute. I think I deserve one. I picked up a short shift Thursday night, then I was called in early Friday, worked a double shift Saturday, and barely made it through my regular shift Sunday. We had a buy-one-get-one-free deal going on for Starbucks' holiday drinks over the weekend. It was from 2-5 each day, and those three hours and three days proved to be the most exhausting hours I've ever worked in any job I've ever had!

   Saturday was the hardest and busiest day. I got in at 8:30 that morning, and it was already crazy. (I didn't get done until 8:45 that night.) We have two espresso machines, but usually we are only using one at a time. From the moment I got there I was double-barring (2 of us making drinks, using both machines, or one prepping the syrups/milk for the other person).

   I was crawling by the time Sunday came around! Thankfully it wasn't as busy that day.

  Yesterday was a day off, but I was busy running Connor to school, getting groceries, putting them away, picking Con up, making dinner, etc. Today I planned on being completely lazy. It could have happened if I hadn't gotten a hankering for sugar cookies!

  The kids helped make them, mix them, roll them in sugar... all of us in our jammies. It's a cloudy day and I can see a wave of snow rolling in. I'll make some split pea soup for dinner. But for now, I'm eating delicious cookies, drinking coffee, not getting dressed, and sitting down!!

                 Waiting for the finished product.

Hooligans

   The adventures never stop. A few nights ago I pulled into the drive after a closing shift. When I opened the garage door I discovered a nice little surprise. A toilet. Not a new one, in a box, no. Our toilet. I sighed and left the van in the driveway, came in the house, and asked Rob if I even wanted to know what happened.

    He decided I did, and told me before I could run away.

   I guess the boys got together with the brilliant idea to flush a diaper. It was genius, really! Who wouldn't think that's a great idea?? The sound of the first flush alerted Rob to foul play. By the time he made it to the hallway to see the debacle, Connor was running for the hills and Max was desperately trying to hold the toilet seat down and the water in. Before Rob could make it to the bathroom for damage control, Max decided the wisest thing to do was really get rid of the evidence by flushing again. Rob said it was like watching a movie in slow motion. The water erupted out of the toilet like a fountain! It took him 6 bath towels to clean it up.

   The diaper was stuck in the gooseneck of the toilet and the only solution was to take the toilet out altogether. He would have been able to put it back in, but when he set it in the garage, it busted a bit. So. Brand new toilet!

   We needed one I guess. Thanks boys, for making home improvement immediate. At least they learned how to put in a new toilet.

  In other news! We took the boys bowling for the first time the other night! Connor absolutely loved it. Max liked it for a minute before he was bored out of his mind. We got one game in before we had to leave and make room for a league coming in. But one was enough for Max!

 

Max bumped his eye on a cart in Target and now has a black eye to go with his mushed fingers. The fingers are looking much better now!

 

 

 

This morning Connor came running into the living room. I was at the sink in the kitchen with my back to him, but he yelled, "MOM!! COMMENCE OPERATION I LOVE YOU!!" (They are a little obsessed with the Power Rangers) It was so sweet! So I turned around to give him a kiss, but this is what I saw.

 

 

    This is one of those days I'm incredibly thankful my father is down at the farm and not drinking coffee in my living room.

    So let's just wash all this down with a little cuteness, shall we? I find it helps.
    
            I'm sorry Bobbi, we've officially stolen B's sunglasses...

   Cheesing for the camera. She's actually saying cheeeeeeeeee!

   Really getting into it.

     Cow says moooooooooo.

 

 

WARNING; Graphic bloody pictures ahead.

    Two days ago I was at work and forgot that my phone was in my pants pocket. Of course, we aren't allowed to have our phones while we're on the clock. But it rang. Loudly. I felt bad, pulled it out of my pocket to ignore the call. It was Rob. I was annoyed because he knew better than to call me at work. A few seconds later it rang again. Something was up. So I asked my supervisor for a quick break and ran to the back to answer.
 
    I could barely hear Rob say "We need to go to Instacare!" over the sound of screaming and crying in the background.
 
    We have a heavy wooden garbage can holder in our kitchen. You open it up and the can sits nicely inside. Max pulled it down on himself and smashed his fingers. There was blood everywhere, a fingernail shifted off to the side of the finger, a part of finger hanging off the tip. It was pretty bad.

    I couldn't leave work, but Rob stopped by on his way to the hospital so I could get a few hugs and kisses in. I could hardly stand the sight of the blood covering his shirt.

    I called Rob later that night to see how it went at the hospital. He said the dr would have liked to give him stitches but didn't want to fight to hold Max down while he did it. And he didn't even glue the finger back together. He just wrapped it up, gave a prescription for antibiotics, and sent them on their way.

    Well, alright. Obviously if the doctor didn't think it was too bad, then fine.

   Last night I found myself driving Max back to Instacare in a blinding rage. We were putting fresh bandages on him. When we pulled the old ones off I was sick to my stomach. That was the first time I had seen his fingers and I was shocked that the doctor thought not putting stitches on him was ok! Our fumbling fingers weren't going to be able to wrap his fingers back up without doing more damage, so we did our best and I got him in the car. The rage hit me suddenly on the road. I started seeing flashing lights and had a hard time breathing. I called Rob immediately and he managed to calm me down before I walked into Instacare ready to tear into somebody. It wouldn't have done any good.
 

    We had a very good nurse and a very good (different) doctor. He was really concerned about Max's fingers and agreed that they should have been sutured. But it had been too long now to do it. He x-rayed Max and found a fracture that the other dr had not even taken the time to consider. Unfortunately, nothing more could be done for him now. But they did glue little bandage strips to the tips of his fingers to bring the pieces back together before wrapping him up again.

   This whole time, I couldn't stop being amazed by my sweet Max. He didn't want to go to the doctor, and at first he was scared and crying because he thought he was going to get a shot. But once he was assured he wouldn't, he was a tough kid. He was friendly and curious. He was sweet, and he never once complained when he was being poked and prodded. I was a proud Momma!
       
    He had to soak his fingers for a while, and they gave him some tongue depressors to play in the water with. He has the greatest laugh!

   He got to take his x-ray picture home and show Connor his bones.

   When we got home he got to sleep in bed with Mommy and Daddy. Daddy chose to sleep in Max's bed after a few minutes of getting rolled over and smacked in the face. I got very little sleep as Max had nightmares all night. He talks in his sleep. It was very clear what he was dreaming about. :(  But today he is 100% himself again.

    Now I've had enough of my kids getting hurt. I really hope we can avoid any further trips to Instacare, or even calls into our insurance nurse hotline. Or poison control.

Good vs Evil, in which evil might win.

  This has been an unfortunately eventful week. Especially for Max. First off, Connor swung a tension rod at Max and scratched his cornea pretty badly. Poor kid couldn't keep his eye open for more than a few seconds at a time. But by bedtime he was feeling alright and the next day was back to normal.

  Yesterday Connor got hold of the weed killer in our garage and sprayed Max... in the eyes.

   Hmm. I'm sensing a theme here.

  I think I'll strap safety glasses onto Max's head and tell him it's what Power Rangers wear to ensure they stay put. Or maybe a full-face helmet.

  Anyway, I rinsed his eyes as well as I could while he squirmed and fought to get away from the water, which is obviously MORE POISONOUS THAN WEED KILLER MOM!!!! He had red splotches from his eyes down to his cheeks before bed, but he could see just fine and his eyes weren't bothering him at all. And once again, thankfully, he's back to normal today.

   A few nights ago, the kids were in bed, the house was quiet, and I was settling into my bed with my laptop to update this here blog. I got my mug of steaming peppermint tea and poured it onto my stomach. Oh yeah, and onto my laptop. I guess I just felt like burning and screaming and killing an expensive piece of technology. I killed it dead. Fortunately, the hard drive is fine. My dear husband (Who completely ignored my cries of agony) just needs to transfer all my pictures and whatnots from it to his. And I'm not allowed to drink anything near a computer again.

   Thursday afternoon I got stung by a wasp at work. I was in drive-thru that day. I've never been stung by a bee before so didn't know how my body was going to respond. But nothing happened! Until 6 hours later when I got hit with dizziness and couldn't even stand up. My parents picked me up from work, practically carried me to the van, drove me home, and Rob helped me get to bed without throwing up. And then the next afternoon I was back to normal. Thank goodness all these awful things haven't lasted long.

   In the mean time we did crafty things...

 

 

And we bought tents. Connor wanted to sleep in his that night. After he fell asleep this is what I found:

 

 

And Maggie got a tent.

 

 

And we spent 10 minutes at the park before Max was walking around with butt cheeks clenched hollering "I NEED TO GO POOOOOPPPPYYYYYYY!"

 

 

And we started a new tradition with the boys snuggling up to me before bed telling me wild and imaginative bedtime stories. It helps me to forgive them for being insubordinate and crazy during the days. It makes me like them just a little bit again.

 

 

Just a little.

 

I'd say the week was balanced out pretty well. Nobody died. That's a plus.

 

She gets it from her mother.

    The cuteness, I mean. The perfection.

 

I'm pretty sure she's the most adorable girl in the world.

 

 

 

Can I just say they're outgoing?

   We really do discipline our kids. I promise I'm not one of those moms who lets her kids run wild at all times and ignores every terrible thing they do.
  
   But people might think I am, based solely on their spasmodic slightly hyper activity and completely idiotic behavior.
  
   This weekend was the very first time I've ever spent apart from my boys.

   It was wonderful.
  
   They went to the farm with my parents early Friday morning, while Rob, Maggie and I spent a night in St George to visit my Gawda and my friend Bobbi. Thursday night I ordered pizza, since I'd been packing and cleaning all day and didn't want to cook. Before the delivery man showed up, I ran down to the laundry room in our basement to throw the clothes into the dryer. When I got back up the stairs, the delivery man had already shown up. I hadn't heard the doorbell.
  
   I really wish I had.

   When I reached the top of the stairs I saw the door wide open and Maggie standing in front of it with wide eyes, looking up at a stranger holding a pizza. Max was out on the front porch in his underwear of course trying to chit chat with him. CONNOR was climbing around in the man's beat up old VW bug.

   I couldn't believe it. Seriously. There have been two conversations that have been on repeat in this house for the past few weeks. One: DO NOT OPEN THE FRONT DOOR EVER EVER NEVER EVER FOR ANY REASON OR ANY PERSON.
 
  And two: STOP TALKING TO STRANGERS. STRANGER DANGER. STRANGERS ARE NOT OUR FRIENDS!!

  Number two came around after the 5,000,000th time Max tried to (and was usually successful) strike up a conversation with a random stranger in the aisle of a store. Seriously, the kid is never quiet. Ever. I literally have to tell him to close his mouth when I'm feeling the need to shave off my ears. And that only results in long drawn-out whimpering.

   Anyway. I apologized over and over again to the delivery man. I left him a profusely large tip. And then I waited until I was sure he and his VW were out of earshot before LOSINGMYMIND!!! I couldn't even deal with the what-ifs. I sent the boys to their room to cry it out before I called Rob to tell him what happened and that he was going to have to dole out some serious punishment when he got home, and then I told the boys that Daddy was going to spank them which made them cry even more, and then Daddy did spank them and had a very long talk again about strangers and the front door, and I hid under my covers in my bed.

   The next morning Max peed on a very nice suede accent pillow in his room before anyone was awake.
  
    Retaliation maybe?

  The kicker is this - While they were with my parents at the farm, they were perfect angels. They obeyed. They never complained. They didn't fight bedtime. They only peed and pooped in the toilet. They ate all their food. They didn't beat each other up.

   I asked mom if she'd be our nanny while I worked full-time instead.
  
   She hasn't really responded yet, so I'm sure she's thinking about it.

  

Rolling my eyes just a little.

    I had the radio on in the kitchen this morning while I was getting supper into the crockpot. (It was a productive day!)
    In case I'd been trying to forget that I live in the Land of Mormons (which I was), a commercial decided to remind me.
    I don't remember what the ad was for, but a man literally said this - "We'd turn your water to Diet Cola just to prove how happy we are to serve you!"
   
    Well if he'd said he'd pour water over ground coffee and serve it hot, he'd have gotten my business for sure! But I might have been his only customer...

Goodbye Fall?

   I'm sitting here eating some home-made cinnamon raisin swirl toast for breakfast and looking out our living room window at the SNOW ON THE MOUNTAIN.
  
   Snow. Already. My body can't decide if it wants to be excited or slip into a light depression yet. I think I'll try to go for excitement, since we are supposed to be back to high 70's and low 80's by Sunday. We ran the heater last night. It's still on for the moment and it has that warm metallic smell that makes me want to knit scarves all day while curled up on the couch. Listening to Enya. Of course, there are no children in this daydream.

   Let's see, what's the latest adventures we've had? Oh yeah. Max shoved a rock up his nose a few days ago. I had a little panic attack when he came in telling me he couldn't get the rock out. But it came out just fine when I made him blow his nose into a Kleenex. Phew.
   And then Wednesday, Max (again) ((always?)), decided to pull a drawer halfway out of my very wide, very old, very heavy dresser and stand in it. Yeah, that sucker toppled. Maggie and Connor were his audience, but luckily they were far enough out of the way. When I ran in, Max was climbing out from under the mess unscathed. That was not a good moment for me. It brought flashbacks of speeding to Urgent Care with Connor in my arms in the backseat of the van. Remember?

 

I wish I'd gotten a picture of his profile so you could see how far his forehead protruded beyond his nose. That was a scary day.

 

Now that my bedroom door is kept locked all day long, I'm hoping to reduce the amount of damage that can be done. Maggie is the only one with a dresser, and when she is no longer in her crib at night, that thing is being bolted to the wall. I don't care how many holes we make.

 

Now I can't even see the mountain for the wall of snow that is coming our way.

 

And the flakes that are coming down in our yard now.

 

I don't think I'm very excited yet.

 

 

 

 

A Love Story

 

So there's a little something I've been doing for a while that I'm going to regret later. The boys believe that our van can hear them and talk to them. I hit the little lock button on the key fob to honk the horn whenever a response is required. Max never fails to hug and kiss the van before getting into it, always says hi and asks it questions. I finally got it on video. :)

 

Guilt

   I love working. But there's one aspect about me that I hate and it's that I'm a perfectionist with impossibly high standards for myself. This little thing called training is killing me. I hate this short period when I don't know things. I need to know everything right now. Once something is explained to me I can usually catch on right away and do it well, and I've been doing great since I started. Until last night.
   I hadn't been trained in blended drinks yet when I started the evening shift. Things got busy and I was thrown a few. I did as much as I knew and asked for help from the other girls when I didn't know what to do, even though they had their own work. It was not good. Things went badly. And even though it wasn't my fault I still felt so awful and guilty that last night after work I couldn't sleep. I laid awake thinking about that half hour at work in which I messed up 4 drinks and made people wait too long in the drive thru. I still haven't been properly trained in the blended drinks, but I've learned quite a few recipes just by trial and lots of error. So I laid awake in bed going through the recipes so that this NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN.
   I finally got some sleep. But first thing this morning one of the girls called asking me to come in and help. Someone had called in sick and they were busy and having a hard time keeping up. I called babysitters, but couldn't find anyone to watch the kids so had to call them back with a Sorry. And the guilt started in again. I know they know that I have kids and a working husband, but I don't want them to think I won't help out!

   I know I'm too hard on myself. But I can't help it.

   My conscience is eased when I hold my babies. It helps. A lot.

It's A Pie Day!

    Like I mentioned, Mom wanted to bake pies for some co-workers. So we did.

       Mmmm my house smells awesome.

   First of all, I just wanted to have this picture on record to show how messy my mom is when she cooks. This is just part of my kitchen, y'all. And yeah, that's lard there. But we only used a little when we ran out of Crisco DON'T JUDGE.

 

       But the mess led to this bunch of apples, which I snacked on whenever mom's back was turned. Not sorry.

 

     And then eventually the mess led to these beauts.

 

                Oh goodness. I'm gonna be so fat tomorrow.

                             The mini pies are for the co-workers. Lucky people. The big ones are for me us. Mostly me. Everyone else will figure that out in about 15 minutes.

 

It's officially fall in Salt Lake.

 

Today's Quotes

   Today my mom is baking a bunch of small pies for her coworkers. It's a perfect day for it, rainy and chilly. The oven is on, we're peeling apples, rainy day music is playing softly, and things are starting to smell delicious.
    While mom and I are slaving away, we're laughing at the boys' silly thoughts.

   Max, trying to get down from the island chairs, "Mom, you're squissing me!"
      "No I'm not, you're squishing yourself."
      "Oh... I am??"

  Max wanting to help me cut the apples, "Mommy, I can help you and I won't hurt myself."
       "No Bug, you can't help cut these. It's too dangerous."
 Rob says "Max, you can help cut the cheese."
      "SURE I can!! I can cut the cheese!"

    Connor getting confused about the fruit.
      "Grandma, are those peaches really hot?"
    "They are the hottest peaches. Just like Grandma! heh heh"
      "Yep, Grandma's one hot peach."

  Max broke his new toy gun (which he calls a pew-pew and we aren't not allowed to call it anything else).
     Connor tries to comfort him by telling him, "It's not broken, Max! It's just invisible!"

   Love my sweet boys.

Small things

   Today I woke up with a hankering for homemade pizza. But I didn't have everything I needed, so I packed up the kids earlier this afternoon and we ran to our friendly neighborhood Walmart.
 
   Of course, we can't just get food. I end up going through the whole store because I remember "OH yeah, I need bandaids, and lets look at the fish for a minute and I wonder what toys are on sale?" Today we were in the shampoo aisle and Max shot to his feet in the cart. MMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!!

   I'm pretty sure the whole store heard him.

  It was a bubble bath container in the shape of Lightning McQueen. The wheels even turn for reals!

   I started to say no. I mean come on. We really don't need another car. I think that makes 283 now. But I found myself unable to resist his sweet little pleas. I threw it in the cart. There was no whining for the rest of the shopping trip. It was weird.

  As soon as we stepped foot back in the house, both boys asked if it was bath time. I assured them it wasn't, they still had lots of time to play before their bath. Taking a bath means bedtime and it's turned into a fight every night.

   But they both started crying! And I remembered Lightning McQueen. Oh yeah.

 So I put Maggie down for her nap and put the boys in the tub, and I've had a full hour of peace!! It's magical! It's like those days off before I had kids, those days that I can barely remember.

   And the funniest thing about it is the cap is on so tight they didn't even get any bubbles out of it!!

Mountain Monday

I cheated and took this picture Friday morning. I'm extremely spoiled by my husband. Every day that he's home he lets me sleep in while he takes care of the kids and breakfast. But even on his days off, the kids don't wake up until after 8. And I'm not a morning person, so I'm never up before them.
   But I was up early for work. I rarely see the sky this time of morning and I wanted to document this strange event.

Little Worm

   Connor is a lover of all things. He has a tender, tender heart. Max found a worm on the patio this morning and ran in to tell Connor about it. They both ran back out to have a look, and soon I hear Connor softly saying, "I love you little worm! I loooooove you little worm!"
   Then he came in to inform me he put the worm back in the grass where he lived.

    When I was his age, I remember playing with worms all the time. But I never really cared about putting them back where they belonged after I was finished giving them heart attacks.

   He's going to be a doctor. Or an extreme environmentalist. But never a good fisherman.

 

Sniff sniff

     Smell that? Oh, forget the last post. We aren't talking about that anymore. I'm talking about coffee now!

    Aaaahh, it's so good to be back to work! Turns out I haven't lost my touch! I still make a pretty mean cappuccino. And now I have a great opportunity to expand my black, khaki, and white wardrobe.

    I've never worked in a drive through before, but today I was thrown into the fire with no training. We were short two people, and it was very busy! But I did it! I only tried to ring up a gift card for $1,500.00 once, and only gave the wrong orders to a couple of people. All in all a successful day.

   At Starbucks, it's expected that you make small talk with every person who drives up to the window, if possible. That's not one of my strengths. I'm not a Chatty Patty. I am a quiet person. I'm not rude, and I hope nobody gets that impression, but I'm not one to strike up conversations with strangers. I find it awkward and uncomfortable most of the time. But I did the best I could, and I learned a lot about people's dogs. There were a lot. And they are treated better than most humans. I mean, how many of us get ourselves a cup of whipped cream just for the pure enjoyment of it?? Right. But the puppies do! And there are a lot of stay-cations happening in Salt Lake City this weekend.
   But we can't talk to everyone. A few people are on their cell phones. (phew!) And then there are those who respond to the friendly 'Do you have any fun plans for the weekend?' with a very succinct 'No.'

  And that's when I rearrange the cup sleeves until the drink is finished.

   
  

Here's a gem for ya.

   WARNING! If you are the least grossed out by poo, you better not watch this video.

Now, just so you know, this is real life, people. There's no CGI. No photoshop. This is what my life is all about. Poo. I get fascinating descriptions about it, smell it all the time, get random and almost daily surprises in my toilets (yes plural, all of them, there are three, and I really did say almost daily, and that means ALL THREE DAILY). I don't know how it's possible for two little boys to have so much of it! Nearly every conversation they have revolves around poop or toots.

 

Max very rarely has an accident, but yesterday he did. And as if that's not enough, 'Da poop fell out of my butt!'

 

sigh

 

Accomplishment

  "Mom! I peed in the toilet! NOT in the tub!"
                       -Connor

Mean Mom; Part 7,348

    Sometimes as a parent I feel like I've lost hold of what little common sense I used to have. For example, if Maggie likes to play in the toilet, make sure the bathroom door is closed at all times. I've been pretty good about that one until yesterday, unfortunately. Especially unfortunate when the boys decided not to flush the toilet.... *shudder*
    I like to think I'm on top of most things. I like to pat myself on the back when we've successfully avoided disaster of any kind in one day. That doesn't happen a lot, to be truthful.
   But yesterday was a big mistake on my part.
   Cuz this happened. (I feel like I use that sentence quite a bit on this blog. Not a good sign.)

   

 

Maggie and I were happily minding our own business in the house while the boys played outside. I don't usually worry about them since we have a fence to keep them in. And they play outside every single day usually without incident.

But Max came inside at one point and said "Mom! Come see our beach!!"

Pretty sure my blood turned into lead and dropped with a thud to my feet. I knew it was bad. So I grabbed my camera for documentation and headed outside to assess the situation.

There they were. My boys, down to their skivvies, with the hose going full blast on the second tier of our backyard that Rob had just cleaned up the other day. And as I was inhaling a deep, deep breath so I could yell a few mommy-ish obscenities, (Holy granola bars!!! What the scuttlebutts happened here??) I heard some sniggering off to my right. The neighbors and their kids were all standing on their deck, enjoying the spectacle. I'm surprised they didn't have popcorn.

Oh how I despise living in the city.

So I swallowed my deep, deep breath and took pictures instead. I'm proud of myself for handling that moment with grace and dignity. *cough, cough*

 

Mudballs

 

 

                                          The rocks were their diving board.

 

                                                                sigh

 

                                        

 

I informed them that they were dead meat, and made them pick up all the toys in the yard. Then I took them in for a shower. But how do I discipline this situation? Really, it's partly my fault for not putting the hose away after telling them a hundred times NOT TO PLAY WITH THE HOSE. The common sense has obviously not been present.

    So I decided it would be best to have a long time out. It was almost time for Daddy to come home from work, so I told them to go sit in their beds until then. I was in the middle of making dinner, but I checked on them every few minutes to make sure they were staying in their beds.

About the third time I went in they were both dead asleep. I could not get them to wake up.

 

Well, that doesn't work. I couldn't let them sleep. They'd never go to sleep at bedtime and this was supposed to be punishment! So I decided it was a good time to vacuum. Starting in their bedroom of course.

 

Nothing.

 

They didn't even twitch.

 

So I got a pan and a wooden spoon and banged until they finally woke up.

 

Ok, I admit this was a little bit fun.

 

Have I mentioned what a mean mom I am?

 

Anyway, they stayed awake after that, until Daddy got home. But this is what they looked like that WHOLE TIME!!

 

               Max cracks me up. He literally sat like this for at least 10 minutes. Looking at me just like that. Every time I walked in to check on them he was just glaring at me.

 

Oh the joys of parenthood.

 

But the clouds looked like this, so it wasn't all bad.