Can I just say they're outgoing?

   We really do discipline our kids. I promise I'm not one of those moms who lets her kids run wild at all times and ignores every terrible thing they do.
  
   But people might think I am, based solely on their spasmodic slightly hyper activity and completely idiotic behavior.
  
   This weekend was the very first time I've ever spent apart from my boys.

   It was wonderful.
  
   They went to the farm with my parents early Friday morning, while Rob, Maggie and I spent a night in St George to visit my Gawda and my friend Bobbi. Thursday night I ordered pizza, since I'd been packing and cleaning all day and didn't want to cook. Before the delivery man showed up, I ran down to the laundry room in our basement to throw the clothes into the dryer. When I got back up the stairs, the delivery man had already shown up. I hadn't heard the doorbell.
  
   I really wish I had.

   When I reached the top of the stairs I saw the door wide open and Maggie standing in front of it with wide eyes, looking up at a stranger holding a pizza. Max was out on the front porch in his underwear of course trying to chit chat with him. CONNOR was climbing around in the man's beat up old VW bug.

   I couldn't believe it. Seriously. There have been two conversations that have been on repeat in this house for the past few weeks. One: DO NOT OPEN THE FRONT DOOR EVER EVER NEVER EVER FOR ANY REASON OR ANY PERSON.
 
  And two: STOP TALKING TO STRANGERS. STRANGER DANGER. STRANGERS ARE NOT OUR FRIENDS!!

  Number two came around after the 5,000,000th time Max tried to (and was usually successful) strike up a conversation with a random stranger in the aisle of a store. Seriously, the kid is never quiet. Ever. I literally have to tell him to close his mouth when I'm feeling the need to shave off my ears. And that only results in long drawn-out whimpering.

   Anyway. I apologized over and over again to the delivery man. I left him a profusely large tip. And then I waited until I was sure he and his VW were out of earshot before LOSINGMYMIND!!! I couldn't even deal with the what-ifs. I sent the boys to their room to cry it out before I called Rob to tell him what happened and that he was going to have to dole out some serious punishment when he got home, and then I told the boys that Daddy was going to spank them which made them cry even more, and then Daddy did spank them and had a very long talk again about strangers and the front door, and I hid under my covers in my bed.

   The next morning Max peed on a very nice suede accent pillow in his room before anyone was awake.
  
    Retaliation maybe?

  The kicker is this - While they were with my parents at the farm, they were perfect angels. They obeyed. They never complained. They didn't fight bedtime. They only peed and pooped in the toilet. They ate all their food. They didn't beat each other up.

   I asked mom if she'd be our nanny while I worked full-time instead.
  
   She hasn't really responded yet, so I'm sure she's thinking about it.