Thursday, September 5, 2013

Mean Mom; Part 7,348


    Sometimes as a parent I feel like I've lost hold of what little common sense I used to have. For example, if Maggie likes to play in the toilet, make sure the bathroom door is closed at all times. I've been pretty good about that one until yesterday, unfortunately. Especially unfortunate when the boys decided not to flush the toilet.... *shudder*
    I like to think I'm on top of most things. I like to pat myself on the back when we've successfully avoided disaster of any kind in one day. That doesn't happen a lot, to be truthful.
   But yesterday was a big mistake on my part.
   Cuz this happened. (I feel like I use that sentence quite a bit on this blog. Not a good sign.)

   
 
Maggie and I were happily minding our own business in the house while the boys played outside. I don't usually worry about them since we have a fence to keep them in. And they play outside every single day usually without incident.
But Max came inside at one point and said "Mom! Come see our beach!!"
Pretty sure my blood turned into lead and dropped with a thud to my feet. I knew it was bad. So I grabbed my camera for documentation and headed outside to assess the situation.
There they were. My boys, down to their skivvies, with the hose going full blast on the second tier of our backyard that Rob had just cleaned up the other day. And as I was inhaling a deep, deep breath so I could yell a few mommy-ish obscenities, (Holy granola bars!!! What the scuttlebutts happened here??) I heard some sniggering off to my right. The neighbors and their kids were all standing on their deck, enjoying the spectacle. I'm surprised they didn't have popcorn.
Oh how I despise living in the city.
So I swallowed my deep, deep breath and took pictures instead. I'm proud of myself for handling that moment with grace and dignity. *cough, cough*
 
Mudballs
 
 
                                          The rocks were their diving board.
 
                                                                sigh
 
                                        
 
I informed them that they were dead meat, and made them pick up all the toys in the yard. Then I took them in for a shower. But how do I discipline this situation? Really, it's partly my fault for not putting the hose away after telling them a hundred times NOT TO PLAY WITH THE HOSE. The common sense has obviously not been present.
    So I decided it would be best to have a long time out. It was almost time for Daddy to come home from work, so I told them to go sit in their beds until then. I was in the middle of making dinner, but I checked on them every few minutes to make sure they were staying in their beds.
About the third time I went in they were both dead asleep. I could not get them to wake up.
 
Well, that doesn't work. I couldn't let them sleep. They'd never go to sleep at bedtime and this was supposed to be punishment! So I decided it was a good time to vacuum. Starting in their bedroom of course.
 
Nothing.
 
They didn't even twitch.
 
So I got a pan and a wooden spoon and banged until they finally woke up.
 
Ok, I admit this was a little bit fun.
 
Have I mentioned what a mean mom I am?
 
Anyway, they stayed awake after that, until Daddy got home. But this is what they looked like that WHOLE TIME!!


 
               Max cracks me up. He literally sat like this for at least 10 minutes. Looking at me just like that. Every time I walked in to check on them he was just glaring at me.
 
Oh the joys of parenthood.
 
But the clouds looked like this, so it wasn't all bad.
 
 
 

4 comments:

  1. This post just made me smile! I love your life!!!!! Maybe we should just run away to Thailand together lol ;-) You are such an amazing mom-I admire that in you!!!!

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  2. Thanks Bobbi! This would have been one of those times when being a helicopter mom could have come in handy! ;)

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  3. Nyla, this is fun! Enjoying reading your blog! I signed up to follow you via email. Your kids are darling. Take care. ~ Dori ~

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  4. Wow, I love how you keep it real on your blog!!! You have very creative, imaginative kids! :-) Think of the stories they'll have to tell when they're older!

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